Rituals

I am finding a lot of comfort in my daily rituals. It reminds me of home actually, the way I used to make dinner in the evenings, watch Project Runway on Wednesday nights, check emails in the morning, feel Isis licking my toes as I woke up. Little rituals are grounding for me, and I love the soothing feeling of nourishment as I move from one thing to the next. In my life that is changing internally it is good to have external sensations to rely on.

Life here happens a little faster (and a little slower), so instead of a more weekly pattern of ritual that I had in my old life, here I have a daily pattern. At the request of a relative, I will impart to any curious reader what my average day looks like.

As I may have mentioned before I sleep on a top bunk in a room of 26 women. The bunks caravan around one side of the curved hallway-type-room, and on the other side of the hallway-type-room is a wall of windows. The view is some sort of generator, some big ass tree, and in the distance many beautiful mountains, trees, a lake, and some big ass sky. So it feels pretty open. Each bed has curtains for privacy but also to shield the sun in the morning. My top bunk is at the part of the room that curves, the middle, so I have a very central open position in the room. I fall asleep at night with my curtains open, because I like to look at the night sky before I fall asleep, and also the feeling of curtains tends to feel pretty claustrophobic. There are usually about five satellites in the sky, and I wonder why I never notice any in Missouri. I wonder if there is hightened security here because I am closer to a coast. I like the look of clouds at night. And the rolling Berkshires, sometimes hazy and blue gray at night time. Two trees in the distance that mirror each other, sort of alone in the distance--I usually look at them before I fall asleep. I touch the stones in my pillow case, and fall asleep. Around 6am as the sky grows more light, I come out of slumber for a moment just to pull my curtain half closed to shut out some light. My alarm clock is set to 7:25 am. I always wake up a few moments before it goes off. Sometimes I lay in bed for a still moment and slowly open the curtain if it is quiet and people have the day off and are sleeping in. Sometimes if I hear other girls talking I throw the curtain open to announce my waking.

I get dressed for work if it is a work day. Jeans or a simple skirt, a t shirt, and black dansko clogs. I go eat breakfast in the cafeteria. In the cafeteria in the morning there is no talking allowed. There is also miso soup offered every single morning, in addition to more normal things. When I first got here all I could eat in the morning was miso soup with a little brown rice in it. Now I usually eat some sort of porridge with walnuts, maple syrup, dried fruit, and soy yogurt. I always have rooibos tea for breakfast. I fill my water bottle and sometimes remember to take my antibiotic or zinc supplement. I go to work at 8:15.

Lance is my boss in the veggie prep kitchen. His last name is Dragonetti which is Italian for "Little Dragon". One time this Russian lady who barely speaks English asked him what his language was. He replied dryly, "Brooklynese". Little Danny Devitoesque guy. He always seems really happy to see me though. I check in and see what to do first. I give Andres a high five or a pound or something, he's my Colombian high school friend. His mom is a manager. A girl my age named Emily is the other manager. They switch off each day for who is in charge, the go to person for any questions. I start working, maybe I chop a shit ton of kale, maybe I sort salad greens. Find some lady bugs or beetles. After about an hour we have a 'check in' to get an emotional climate for the day. Sometimes Lance asks me to do it. We stand in a circle. Check in with each person and say how's it going? At around 10 I get a break and check my email. At around noon I get an hour lunch. Today instead of lunch I went to a "Journey Dance" class, which is kind of a shamanic yogic dancing that is very fun. On Saturdays there is live drumming, so I wanted to check it out. Today also I helped this guy Shawn, who has a Mayor Quimby accent, shuck 300 ears of corn. We got to do it outside and we found three baby corns, one who looked like rapunzel we decided. Shawn also discovered that if you inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth as you break the corn, it doesn't hurt the wrists. He started that from a sarcastic bent (he's not a yogi) but he ended up really getting into breathing while shucking. We clean and scrub the kitchen when all the work is done. At 4:00 I get off work.

I change clothes and go to yoga at 4:15. I decide what type of class I want to go to, lately I do more vigorous (ie advanced). They have a 'gentle' class which I wish was more low key or yin, but it is actually a 'beginner' class (they just don't want to use the word beginner) and usually has too much talking and explaining for me. The 'vigorous' class I went to today was actually not that vigorous at all. We did do a ton of arm balances though. I will have to include a photo of the new pose I learned today: Firefly pose. Most of the time when class gets out at 5:45 I slide into the moderate class which includes a half hour meditation at the end. I meditate until 6:15 and then down to the whirlpool/sauna which has a beautiful communal shower. It sounds odd showering in a locker room type shower, but it is actually very nice, pretty pearly tiles and low soothing lighting, smells like cedar from the sauna, no nasty curtains or flourescent lights. I think if the showers weren't there and I couldn't just walk up to my room from the showers in my towel, it wouldn't feel like home. So luckily my room is at the top of the stairs from the showers. I shower off to prepare to sit in the whirlpool. I put conditioner in my hair and tie it up so it can condition while I'm in the whirlpool. I then go to the whirlpool, hop in, and find a jet to massage my muscles. I sit in there for about 10 minutes, sometimes I sing, sometimes there is a lot of chatting with other gals, sometimes silence. I get out and submerge myself in the cold pool for at least six deep breaths. I go back into the shower room and finish my shower with soap, rinse the conditioner out of my hair. I usually run into this massage student Amanda at this point. She always takes the first showerhead and I always take the second, and we pick each other's brains. I dry off, run upstairs, put on lotion (the whirlpool is chlorinated) or coconut oil (this is really popular among volunteers right now), arrange my hair, get dressed, and this is the ritual in my day where I feel completely clean and annointed. Now I am ready to eat my dinner.

After dinner who knows what happens. A walk, a lecture, kirtan (chanting), a conversation, an impromptu craft night, a fire ceremony, a dance, anything and many things.

I go to bed when I am ready, I think I stay up later when the moon is more full.

Happy lunar eclipse and full moon everyone. I think I'll contradict myself and go to bed now--I'm exhausted.