Sunday, December 28, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Albany Airport
In the dream it was round. It was early morning or late night. I was one of few in the Albany airport, left behind somehow.
I was waiting FOREVER for a checked bag. At one point I went in an elevator and the elevator crashed out the top of the building. I sluggishly thought to myself, huh, how about that? I think my ride finally came at the end.
So a tedious dream, and a dream that told me to not check my bag or take any elevators.
My actual experience in waking (sleeping) life, on today, Christmas Eve Eve:
Stood in line at the United counter for a 4:45 flight. Noticed tingling in my mouth and feet. Decided the amped flow of energy was okay. Noticed a woman 20 feet away who looked like she was from Georgia shove an entire cookie in her mouth, and then offer some to the strangers in line behind her. I didn't hear anything she said, but liked all the expression on her face. She would hold eye contact briefly, then turn her head 180 degrees to look away. Noticed a sweet woman in front of me, classy, with a little balding mother on a walker. Noticed a family behind me with a skinny bucktoothed 11(?) year old girl. The girl was chewing her nails and the mother told her (repeatedly) it was an ugly habit, and did she want to end up looking like her uncle and her grandpa? Did she want people to think she had an ugly habit? Did she want worms in her stomach?
What a nag.
Around then, I realized that no one was using the fast computer check in and I checked in. Walked up to security. Got through, but they noticed my water bottle, my gold sigg bottle. I was asked to dump the water and come back through. I walked out, chugged, walked back in to a different line. Was asked to step into an "air pressure booth" to see if I had explosives residue on me. It was terrible, a vibrating monster who tried to zap chi from my pores. I held strong though, and proceeded. I went through, and one of my gifts, a bottle of liquid, was denied access. I was asked to just put it in my suitcase and check the suitcase.
I stood in United line, again, numbly, to have my bag checked. But what about the dream? My checked bag was a huge hassle in the dream. I went to the bathroom and poured most of the contents of the bottle into a vitamin container, which appeared to be considerably smaller than the original bottle but was about the same size. I went back through security and the woman was furious. What about the other TWO bottles of liquid? I hadn't thought of those. Shit. Why are these guards making this such a slow and prolonged process? Am I supposed to be processing something. Is something trying to spell itself out for me?
I checked the bag. The computer was choking and wouldn't print the sticker to check my bag. I started to remember how Jeff Triplat said when things are stopping you from doing what you are trying to do, it is a message. Well, Jeff, is this a message or is this just the holidays? That's the question I was asking while my bag posed on the scale, waiting to be dressed with its sticker and encounter its destiny. I got a dream, and three security run ins. And the fact that I bought those three illegal gifts in the first place without thinking. What's going on? I felt asleep, feeling annoyed at the cryptic and sluggish nature of waking life. I am very confused.
My fourth attempt through security was successful. All of the security guards were pretty happy for me.
Now my flight has been delayed four hours, I wonder what will happen next.
I was waiting FOREVER for a checked bag. At one point I went in an elevator and the elevator crashed out the top of the building. I sluggishly thought to myself, huh, how about that? I think my ride finally came at the end.
So a tedious dream, and a dream that told me to not check my bag or take any elevators.
My actual experience in waking (sleeping) life, on today, Christmas Eve Eve:
Stood in line at the United counter for a 4:45 flight. Noticed tingling in my mouth and feet. Decided the amped flow of energy was okay. Noticed a woman 20 feet away who looked like she was from Georgia shove an entire cookie in her mouth, and then offer some to the strangers in line behind her. I didn't hear anything she said, but liked all the expression on her face. She would hold eye contact briefly, then turn her head 180 degrees to look away. Noticed a sweet woman in front of me, classy, with a little balding mother on a walker. Noticed a family behind me with a skinny bucktoothed 11(?) year old girl. The girl was chewing her nails and the mother told her (repeatedly) it was an ugly habit, and did she want to end up looking like her uncle and her grandpa? Did she want people to think she had an ugly habit? Did she want worms in her stomach?
What a nag.
Around then, I realized that no one was using the fast computer check in and I checked in. Walked up to security. Got through, but they noticed my water bottle, my gold sigg bottle. I was asked to dump the water and come back through. I walked out, chugged, walked back in to a different line. Was asked to step into an "air pressure booth" to see if I had explosives residue on me. It was terrible, a vibrating monster who tried to zap chi from my pores. I held strong though, and proceeded. I went through, and one of my gifts, a bottle of liquid, was denied access. I was asked to just put it in my suitcase and check the suitcase.
I stood in United line, again, numbly, to have my bag checked. But what about the dream? My checked bag was a huge hassle in the dream. I went to the bathroom and poured most of the contents of the bottle into a vitamin container, which appeared to be considerably smaller than the original bottle but was about the same size. I went back through security and the woman was furious. What about the other TWO bottles of liquid? I hadn't thought of those. Shit. Why are these guards making this such a slow and prolonged process? Am I supposed to be processing something. Is something trying to spell itself out for me?
I checked the bag. The computer was choking and wouldn't print the sticker to check my bag. I started to remember how Jeff Triplat said when things are stopping you from doing what you are trying to do, it is a message. Well, Jeff, is this a message or is this just the holidays? That's the question I was asking while my bag posed on the scale, waiting to be dressed with its sticker and encounter its destiny. I got a dream, and three security run ins. And the fact that I bought those three illegal gifts in the first place without thinking. What's going on? I felt asleep, feeling annoyed at the cryptic and sluggish nature of waking life. I am very confused.
My fourth attempt through security was successful. All of the security guards were pretty happy for me.
Now my flight has been delayed four hours, I wonder what will happen next.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Solstice Eve
A big fat juicy layer of snow is so oceanic.
I drench myself in the silence and maneuver through waves of sensation, tromping high, skidding up terrain that would normally be unnavigable, but navigable with the temporary pavement of snow. A relief in the same way rain relieves, only this time with a more memorable impression. I dwell in the relief in its paused, semi permanent form, sculpting it around my joy, noting the effects. I march, up a hill and to a clearing, cruise into a thick cool easy chair created by some place in between dream and reality, stare at the opaque sky with the sun setting behind somewhere, plant my palms face up at shoulder level, elbows bent. Sink. Receive. Stand, sing, walk in a path around my imprint in a spiral until the installation is 30 feet in diameter. Suddenly my bedroom is much larger than usual, and I sing at the top of my lungs, claiming my space. I am a snow angel, and I know what it feels like to fly like one. I dwell in the swells. I find hard earth again, and return through a drift of twinkling flurries and streetlamp-lit light. I sound, sparkle, land.
I drench myself in the silence and maneuver through waves of sensation, tromping high, skidding up terrain that would normally be unnavigable, but navigable with the temporary pavement of snow. A relief in the same way rain relieves, only this time with a more memorable impression. I dwell in the relief in its paused, semi permanent form, sculpting it around my joy, noting the effects. I march, up a hill and to a clearing, cruise into a thick cool easy chair created by some place in between dream and reality, stare at the opaque sky with the sun setting behind somewhere, plant my palms face up at shoulder level, elbows bent. Sink. Receive. Stand, sing, walk in a path around my imprint in a spiral until the installation is 30 feet in diameter. Suddenly my bedroom is much larger than usual, and I sing at the top of my lungs, claiming my space. I am a snow angel, and I know what it feels like to fly like one. I dwell in the swells. I find hard earth again, and return through a drift of twinkling flurries and streetlamp-lit light. I sound, sparkle, land.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Some excerpts from my journal.
Mother earth blesses the food,
mother earth blesses me,
I bless the food,
the food blesses me.
Relax and let all chaos around me be exactly what it is.
You are all so much more than you think you are (I am all so much more than I think I am).
A dentist office called "Gentle Dental" (Actually in Porter Square in Boston)
I feel ready, I feel here, existing in my heart space, feeling peace as I ride the T holding the yellow lilies I have acquired. Not just anyone carries flowers, and it feels that everywhere I go they bless the space as an extension of my heart. As I walked around Porter Square they caught the eye of a homeless woman who asked me for change, but then said, "Wow, those are beautiful orchids." I accepted the compliment for the flowers and strode toward the subway station. Feeling love, being love, I am a love generator.
Make myself my practice, share my practice as my life, live my life to serve.
Stephen Cope talk
-Flow: When do people feel happiest? When they feel they are bringing everything to a complex challenge.
-Dharma: Making endeavors spiritual practice. Law, duty, purpose. Gradual attunement for most compelling possibility, acting on purpose, the more you do this, the more opportunities and courage you receive.
-Dharma: No matter how idiosyncratic, eventually connects you with the universe. "Write about what only you love" What your idiosyncracy allows you to see, write about that and it will connect you to the world"--Thoreau This is how Thoreau inspired MLK and Ghandi We all have a responsibility to our particular gift/genius.
-Real fulfillment comes from surrender.
Part of the nature of Christ in our times has to do with contradiction s and the darkness inside the light (or the light inside the darkness). In the end this is about patriarchy breaking down, so in order for women to rise to our original power (mother of god) we have pain to push through following the symbolism of Christ's death. Salem Witch trials= the 'dark' side of the 'enlightenment'. Punishing women with real power for the sake of Christianity.
Making art as dharma, statement that validates art. The dharma fulfills itself, lends to what the world does on its own. All I have to do is be me, recklessly.
Being an artist is my freedom and purpose. I own my creative power.
mother earth blesses me,
I bless the food,
the food blesses me.
Relax and let all chaos around me be exactly what it is.
You are all so much more than you think you are (I am all so much more than I think I am).
A dentist office called "Gentle Dental" (Actually in Porter Square in Boston)
I feel ready, I feel here, existing in my heart space, feeling peace as I ride the T holding the yellow lilies I have acquired. Not just anyone carries flowers, and it feels that everywhere I go they bless the space as an extension of my heart. As I walked around Porter Square they caught the eye of a homeless woman who asked me for change, but then said, "Wow, those are beautiful orchids." I accepted the compliment for the flowers and strode toward the subway station. Feeling love, being love, I am a love generator.
Make myself my practice, share my practice as my life, live my life to serve.
Stephen Cope talk
-Flow: When do people feel happiest? When they feel they are bringing everything to a complex challenge.
-Dharma: Making endeavors spiritual practice. Law, duty, purpose. Gradual attunement for most compelling possibility, acting on purpose, the more you do this, the more opportunities and courage you receive.
-Dharma: No matter how idiosyncratic, eventually connects you with the universe. "Write about what only you love" What your idiosyncracy allows you to see, write about that and it will connect you to the world"--Thoreau This is how Thoreau inspired MLK and Ghandi We all have a responsibility to our particular gift/genius.
-Real fulfillment comes from surrender.
Part of the nature of Christ in our times has to do with contradiction s and the darkness inside the light (or the light inside the darkness). In the end this is about patriarchy breaking down, so in order for women to rise to our original power (mother of god) we have pain to push through following the symbolism of Christ's death. Salem Witch trials= the 'dark' side of the 'enlightenment'. Punishing women with real power for the sake of Christianity.
Making art as dharma, statement that validates art. The dharma fulfills itself, lends to what the world does on its own. All I have to do is be me, recklessly.
Being an artist is my freedom and purpose. I own my creative power.
Update
Life is great and fast paced.
I will be in KC from the evening of December 23-afternoon December 27.
I am in the process of manifesting a trip to Columbia for True/False 2009.
My job is going well, my art career seems to be picking up and I have updated my myspace page to that extent. I still do not have a 'real' website but you can keep up with me at http://www.myspace.com/colorsmakeshapes. Starting in January, my service at Kripalu will be significantly fewer hours, and I will have plenty of time to make artwork, which seems to snowball every time I have a day off.
Also, in terms of keeping in touch, I have been very good at facebook lately. Check me out under my full name: Andrea Merello
The volunteer community is preparing to welcome 35 new volunteers on January 5, in addition to the 21 of us who are staying. Compared to the normal 40 people, this will be quite a change to have almost 60. In the meantime, the whole facility has been closed this week for deep cleaning, door replacement, and some carpet replacement, and I got three days off in a row. It has been a great chance to pause and see where I'm at in terms of where I physically live in my community, my artwork/art career, where I'd like to travel in the near future, and what my life is looking like in general.
I will be in KC from the evening of December 23-afternoon December 27.
I am in the process of manifesting a trip to Columbia for True/False 2009.
My job is going well, my art career seems to be picking up and I have updated my myspace page to that extent. I still do not have a 'real' website but you can keep up with me at http://www.myspace.com/colorsmakeshapes. Starting in January, my service at Kripalu will be significantly fewer hours, and I will have plenty of time to make artwork, which seems to snowball every time I have a day off.
Also, in terms of keeping in touch, I have been very good at facebook lately. Check me out under my full name: Andrea Merello
The volunteer community is preparing to welcome 35 new volunteers on January 5, in addition to the 21 of us who are staying. Compared to the normal 40 people, this will be quite a change to have almost 60. In the meantime, the whole facility has been closed this week for deep cleaning, door replacement, and some carpet replacement, and I got three days off in a row. It has been a great chance to pause and see where I'm at in terms of where I physically live in my community, my artwork/art career, where I'd like to travel in the near future, and what my life is looking like in general.
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